I feel awkward and resistant. The vortex of information overwhelms and alienates, yet intrigues me when I give in. In this rapidly advancing digital age of flips, blips, twits and microchips, I am still new and inexperienced. The fear of not knowing how, where or why to blog has kept me from it for far too long. What do I say? How do I say it? Why? My mother ingrained in me the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all," mantra so my life has consisted of saying nice things but thinking not so nice things. Talking for the sake of talking is pointless and wasted space and saying nice things is a lie unless you really mean them. My point here is that maybe I've been a little too precious in formulating my words for fear of not formulating them the right way or not making them nice enough. Classic chick rhetoric. Ahh…the perfectionist strikes again. Yuk.
I am a young blogger, embarrassed by my lack of both experience and desire to share my voice with the world through a medium that feels so impersonal. Up until now (and by now, I mean my present state as a fully-fledged grad student knee-deep in the rigors of academia), I've regarded blogging not as a way to share and create a sense of community, but as a self-serving false attempt at superficial connection. Does anyone truly represent themselves authentically on-line when it is so easy to hit the delete key and create the self you want others to see? For a very long time I resisted the notion that any type of truly deep, meaningful personal connection could happen by using anything electronic as a substitute. I want to look into someone's eyes, study their gestures and hear the sounds they make. No matter what the ads say, I can't reach out and touch someone through a computer screen. I'm antiquated in my desire, I know, but I don't think I'm crazy for wanting real human connection and feeling deprived by trying to get it from clicking a button. I don't want to break up with someone via text and I don't want this done to me (she says, reflecting on her recent past). There should be a 10 Commandments of Technology and this should be one of them. "Text unto others as you would have text'd unto you…" Okay, you get my point.
Because of this new technology one may argue that it's easier than ever to communicate that we should embrace the fact that it makes our lives so much simpler. I don't think it's made our lives simpler (at least mine anyway), just faster. The human connection that once existed is becoming void and replaced with the pretense of human-to-human interaction. Ludite? Perhaps.
This blogger's not a virgin anymore.
Jennifer: I've also been thinking recently about the altered sense of space, place and time when I'm working on-line. This morning while driving to Claremont I was thinking about how long it would take to walk *here* (I'm on campus now as I write this) and now long if I were on a horse. Our lives have 'sped up' in a very strange way. Your description is great and I agree that "The vortex of information overwhelms and alienates, yet intrigues me when I give in. In this rapidly advancing digital age of flips, blips, twits and microchips, ..." Although I'm not new to the technology I have resisted blogging, just as I resisted buying a cell phone. I have so many e-mail addresses, passwords, calendars (digital and otherwise), that I wonder how much *time* I spend just sorting through and organizing all the bookmarks, files, folders, etc.
ReplyDeleteI also understand the reticence and lack of ease in speaking publically, and am also practicing in order to not feel quite so *exposed*, for lack of a better word. The internet is a public place after all. That being said, individuals can post just about anything, outrages, shocking, vulgar, etc.
I often think about the stream of information when watching the news on television, specifically the way that the news commentators/anchors skip from one topic to another at lightening speed. Something horrific is described along side something silly and/or ridiculous. Not to mention the split screen visuals with text scrolling along the bottom, as well as financial news numbers in a box clicking away.
The danger (and my fear)is that the profusion of media consumed passively, just feeds on itself in the worst way - consumption-consumption-consumption. This sounds simple enough, but it is a hugely dehumanizing process, removing people from real connections not only with other people, but the food we eat, how it is produced and what it is made of, the visceral sense of seasons changing ... sounds, smells, tastes that for more than a few millenia human kind has lived very much in the midst of, close to the physical body and its perceptions. Now we have this strangely external/internal place to gather and share. But what I've been considering is the ways in which people think about these new opportunities for connection, how interactions are made meaningful or not.
Despite my reluctance to blog, I'm glad to read your post today and respond. You've presented many stirring questions that NEED to be considered and discussed, either face to face or on-line if that is what the 21st Century technological advances have introduced.
The Luddites of the early 19th Century were textile artisans whose livelihood was completed usurped by the Industrial Revolution. Our contemporary situation is much the same. The landscape, so to speak, of work, production, entertainment and communication have merged, creating work for some, while completely altering the structures that were the foundation of civilizations for thousands of years.